A Nation of Children

A Problem > 1

Many of us recognize that a child occupies the Oval Office. Not a cute, well-behaved, adorable child that you might find in a heart-warming 1930s movie, but a nasty, selfish, willful, and destructive child who bucks any kind of authority. Worse, a classic bully who operates without restraints. 

But it’s also worth considering that we have become, in a many ways, a nation of children. Not just happily irresponsible, like a pack of Peter Pan’s lost boys, but often cruel and vindictive. This is, of course, unfair. I’m really talking about a sizable portion of the population, probably a minority, but one that has taken over many of our institutions and has set not only the tone of discourse but the national agenda.

Armed protesters at the Michigan State Capitol in Lansing on April 30. Photo: Jeff Kowalsky/AFP via Getty Images

The most glaring example of this childishness is the refusal to accept the reality of the pandemic, especially those who gleefully refuse to wear masks or follow social distancing. They justify their resistance with claims their rights are being infringed, the threat is exaggerated, conspiracy theories, and a false sense they are somehow immune. But what’s really behind it is a joyful exuberance in defying authority.

It’s like when a parent tells a child not to play in the street because of the traffic and he runs out the door anyway, yelling “Try and stop me!” Yes, a part of him may realize there’s a risk, and even that some other kids may get hurt. But not me—I’m too fast and smart. And anyway, the thrill of defying authority is too great to resist.

Historical Roots

Resistance to authority has deep roots in the American psyche, and is replayed over and over again in popular films and stories in which an everyman/woman is forced to confront corrupt officials or even agents of a national conspiracy, or powerful corporations. And usually, the antihero somehow prevails. 

This national trait complements the myth of rugged individualism, whereby strong-willed, independent pioneers conquered a wilderness and founded a country, conveniently forgetting this incredible land grab could never have happened without the cavalry to back it up.

But this diminution of governments’ role, along with a natural suspicion of all authority, has produced a childish mentality. The anti-tax movement promoted the idea that “government” was taking “your” money for its own purposes. You could certainly spend it better. This coupled with the belief in massive waste and fraud, and also in the incompetence of the public sector encapsulated in Reagan’s memorable phrase.

The Prevalence of Magical Thinking

Of course, this is nonsense. Taxes are the fuel that enables governments to function and civilizations to flourish. Only children believe they can get what they want without really paying for it. It’s magical thinking.

So, what do these adult children want? They want the local government to build the roads and bridges they travel on, provide schools for their kids and the basic services (police, fire, traffic lights, etc.) they need. And they expect the national government to protect the country, facilitate trade and commerce, and provide other services, like mail delivery. And they are convinced they can get all this on the cheap, 

Moreover, they want clean air and water and food without poisons, but oppose government regulations that would make this happen. More magical thinking.  

Hoarding the Cookie Jar

But they don’t want to pay for things that benefit society as a whole, or that only benefit others, and certainly not for those whom they do not believe are deserving—the poor who won’t work, the elderly who didn’t save enough for their “golden years,” and the physically or mentally challenged who are just a burden on society. 

Here, magical thinking—I can get what I want for very little—combines with a selfishness that, miraculously, is converted into a virtue—I want to save these lazy good-for-nothings from their dependence. But it also fuses with the rejection of any kind of responsibility—for the greater social good, or for those less fortunate.

Defying and Denying

The child also emerges in the willful defiance of authority (“you can’t make me!”) and the stubborn denial of unpleasant truths, especially about risks, where bravado trumps common sense. But the defiance goes beyond downplaying threats and assuming unnecessary risks. It unleashes a destructive impulse targeting social norms, civility, fairness, rationality, authoritative sources of information, the rights of others, and ultimately others as well. And it does so without taking any responsibility for the results, the ultimate definition of childishness.

This group elected the President because of his own destructive impulses, and now they cheer each other on as they continuously gut the legal and social norms of society.

A Perfect Storm

So what we have now is a perfect storm: a spoiled child in the White House, a mob of unruly adults with a mind-set akin to the children in Lord for the Flies, numerous officials elected by this mob or selected by the President who share many of these childish traits, a pack of adult officials who know better but still enable the child President in pursuit of their own agendas or careers, and a national crisis that demands leadership at every level and a truly united citizenry. 

Now Is the Time for Accountability

Abnormal Times

Among the subsidiary debates raging as the virus rages among us is whether or not now is the time to cast blame, or the time to come together. This is a false proposition: to come together, we need to hold those responsible for our plight accountable. Now.

In normal times, it makes sense for opposing sides to put aside their differences in a crisis to forge a united front against a common enemy or natural disaster. Matters of accountability for lack of preparedness or an initial inadequate response could be considered later, after the crisis has passed.

But these are not normal times, and there is no “later.” This administration has avoided the very notion of accountability from its inception. The president takes no responsibility for his lies, for his emoluments, for the pain and suffering he has visited on immigrants, asylum seekers, and those unable to afford health services, among others, or for breaking laws and ignoring subpoenas.

He has avoided any accountability for the ten plus acts of obstruction cited in the Mueller Report, or for the attempted corruption of the Ukrainian alliance. Instead, the administration has sought to silence, condemn and whenever possible, punish its critics. Its mantra is simply that the president, and his whole administration, is above and beyond the law.

Under these circumstances, it is absurd to assume there will ever be a time when a dispassionate review of the handling of the Covid-19 emergency will have any impact. While much of the public might find its worst fears confirmed, the Republican base and elected officials will shrug it off as partisan. In any event, there would be no consequences.  

A Chamberlain, Not a Churchill

Chamberlain Returns from Munich

We are living through tumultuous times that demand inspiring leadership. Instead, we have a Chamberlain, not a Churchill: A man unwilling to accept the reality of the situation, just as the doomed prime minister refused to acknowledge the real threat posed by Hitler. A man unable to formulate a bold plan, too timid to take the necessary actions, and too focused on maintaining his own grip on power to serve as the bulwark that the nation so desperately craves.

The argument to “hold the blame” might have some validity if the president had taken responsibility for the delayed response and somehow transformed himself into a Churchill. Neither has happened. 

A Real Leader

Seeking accountability for the earlier failures of the administration, from firing the pandemic experts and ignoring multiple warnings about a potential outbreak, to taking no action for weeks once the threat had emerged, is not a trivial exercise in hindsight. Democracy depends on accountability. Especially in a case like this.

These initial failures may have enormous consequences. Maybe a million more Americans will die than might have had the government taken the necessary actions as soon as the virus erupted.

Even more alarming, the president’s response continues to be abysmal. There is no clear, overall strategic plan. He has refused to mobilize the federal government to organize and manage the response, taking only piecemeal steps reluctantly. He continues to spread false information and hopes, leaving his aides and experts to correct or clarify his comments after the fact. 

Worse, he has subverted what should be medical briefings into a platform to showcase himself and spin his own theories, as well as attack his critics. He portrays himself as a wartime leader, but in fact it is only an act he plays poorly. For him, the briefings are just another campaign opportunity. And he continues to undermine the credibility of the media just when the public needs a source they can trust.

Many have begged him to leave the stage and let Mike Pence, who at least seems to have some sense of how to work with experts and a wide range of government officials, and how to establish consistent policies, take control. Yes, he praises Trump too much, but that comes with the territory. Or even better, let a non-political healthcare administrator run the show. 

But this will never happen. Trump will never yield the limelight, no matter how many people die or how strong the criticism even from some Republicans. His singular goal is reelection, and for now the best “role” he can play is wartime leader. 

In a parliamentary system, we would like to believe he would have been canned long ago, certainly after his multiple claims that the virus was “under control” proved false. But then, Chamberlain wasn’t forced to resign until long after Munich, and the die was already cast for a long, bloody, war. 

A New Flock of Action Figures

The Thesis

If our leaders seem to act all too often like cartoon characters, we should not be surprised. Perceptions of how to handle conflict are usually shaped during childhood, and for boys, especially, the models doing the shaping tend to be heroic action figures found in comics, TV shows, movies, and video games. 

Odysseus Slays the Suitors

While some of these heroes possess superhuman powers (Superman, etc.), many are just particularly gifted men (not unlike Homer’s heroes), who happen to be especially strong, tough, the best archer (Robin Hood), the best swordsman (Zorro), the fasted draw or the sharpest shooter (Roy Rogers et al.), or have some gimmick that always brings them out on top, like Popeye’s spinach or Bat Masterson’s cane. 

The lesson gleaned from all these tales is not that might makes right, but the opposite: right always has superior might, along with the corollary, the contest is ultimately based on force. So, no wonder our would-be adult leaders have stubbornly clung to the notion that since conflicts get resolved through force, and we have the world’s mightiest arsenal, we should always prevail. And by inverse logic, this means we must be right!

Needless to say, we have not always prevailed, and perhaps more to the point, there are often far more productive ways of resolving conflict. 

But if we want to stretch the options considered by future generations of potential leaders, we need to capture their imaginations while they’re still at an impressionable age. And so, I offer a new flock of action figures whose behavior communicates softer, less bellicose, lessons, for our future leaders yet in childhood. 

The Antithesis

Character:  Cogan the Grammarian
Plot/Device: Teaches ruffians the difference between “who” and “whom,” and when to use the subjunctive
Key Lesson: The power of words

Character:  Supermanners!
Plot/Device:  Disarms thugs by unexpected acts of courtesy
Key Lesson:  A little politeness can defuse many nasty situations

Character:  Bathman EnRobed
Plot/Device:  Hero drives around town in bathmobile, then leaps out of tub to save the day only covered by a towel
Key Lesson:  Cleanliness is next to godliness

Character:  Mobil Mouse
Plot/Device:  Intrepid rodent writes a best-selling self-help book whenever people move his cheese
Key Lesson: Size doesn’t matter

Character:  Nancy the Druid
Plot/Device: Spunky young witch helps teenage girls solve the mysteries of puberty through magic
Key Lesson:  When searching, leave no stone unhenged

Character:  Helpalong Cassidy
Plot/Device:  Gregarious cowboy inhabits traffic island, helping little old ladies cross the street safely
Key Lesson:  Always trust the kindness of strangers

CharacterSir Lunchalot
Plot/Device: Knight works day job in soup kitchen, dishing out nutritious meals and courtly advice to damsels in financial distress
Key Lesson: Square meals can often be found on round tables
 

A Disastrous Debate

Daggers Out

Once again, Donald Trump won a Democratic debate. As the candidates tore each other to pieces, he and his supporters must have been smiling, as they gleefully continue to dismantle our democratic system.

Basically, I believe the best way to enhance your relative stature is to raise yourself up rather than trying to reduce that of those around you. But I recognize that in a political competition, some attacks on rivals are par for the course. But in the Nevada debate, mutual bashing became the primary activity, with a viciousness and purposelessness that will only come back to haunt the ultimate nominee.

In most cases, the attack points were trivial, even petty. The candidates seemed to be randomly sticking pins in their opponents, searching for Achilles Heals that would destroy them. This went beyond purity testing to brute nastiness, for which Mayor Pete deserves first prize.

The only exception I feel was truly constructive were the challenges to Bloomberg on his toleration of stop-and-frisk abuse, and on charges of a sexist environment in his company. These were legitimate questions, and his responses were not only evasive but revealing. Pretending that releasing victims from NDAs, allowing them to speak out if they chose to do so, would somehow compromise their privacy is absurd. 

An Exercise in Repetition

The substantive aspects of the debate were also pathetic, and boring. Far too much time was spent, once again, on Medicare for All and its alternatives. Everyone agreed the current system needs to be dramatically improved, and the efforts to destroy Obamacare, flawed as it is, needs to be stopped. Everyone favors universal coverage, with different solutions and approaches to getting there. 

But remember: Obamacare was the best compromise solution a very popular president, with a politically savvy vice-president, could achieve. Realizing anyone’s vision will require control of both houses of Congress and a lot of patience and flexibility. 

So, we had to listen to everyone saying what they have already said countless times, about healthcare, global warming, and the few other issues discussed, while sniping against their opponents. Many other major topics were never even raised, or received one-liners which were just throw-aways. What about the huge, huge elephant in the room?

Elephantry, My Dear Candidates

A casual viewer who had been off the grid for the last few months would hardly have guessed the nation’s democratic institutions were under assault and our alliances were being undone, and the only thing standing in the way of their complete destruction was a sweeping Democratic victory in November. 

Sure, all the candidates proclaimed the need to defeat Trump. But this became like a formula in a responsive prayer, that alternates a phrase like “Lord have mercy” with a litany of lengthy appeals that in this case were hardly addressed to our better angels. The sense of urgency demanded to address this threat has only intensified over the past week was totally lacking.

A true recognition of the critical juncture in our national history would have led all the candidates to focus their ire on the president, underscoring the absolute imperative for the Democratic Party to remain unified and refraining from the suicidal attacks on each other. They failed to do so.

Another Media Failure

But to be fair, much of the blame for the disastrous debate falls upon Lester Holt and the NBC management who structured the event as a food fight. Holt announced from the beginning he wanted the candidates to engage with each other, and many of the questions asked one candidate to react to the positions of another. 

Many of the other questions were challenges intended to provoke, putting responders on the defensive and opening them up to criticism from their peers. Of course, that’s part of any moderated debate, but the balance was tipped much too far in that direction. And the candidates just fell into the trap rather than rise above it.

In fact, they could have changed the narrative forced on them by the moderators, much as they regularly changed the topics from the questions asked. They didn’t.

One can only imagine that NBC decided that an acrimonious spectacle was what viewers wanted, rather than what the nation needed. In other words, they made the same calculation the media did in 2016 when they realized Trump’s outrageous behavior would attract far more viewers than Hillary’s (or his Republican opponents’) more serious, policy-focused appearances, so gave him far greater coverage than he really deserved.

And so, the results could be the same this time around, with NBC joining the other enablers of a thoroughly discredited president. 

The Double-Edged Sword of Cooperation

Part One: The Cutting Edge

Tribalism vs. Individual Self-Interest

In a recent New York Times Op-Ed column, David Brooks makes a forceful argument for broad-based cooperation as the best solution to our tribalized times: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/30/opinion/us-politics.html

Essentially, he argues that the notion that society is primarily driven by individual self-interest is false: it’s really driven by intense competition among groups. 

He points out populism of both right and left have adopted a “winner take all,” “Us vs. Them” mentality that has come to dominate institutions, including government, as well as permeating society as a whole. While he focuses on the US, his observations really apply across the planet.

Basically, I agree with Brooks’ analysis and his ultimate conclusion that a healthier future demands genuine cooperation across diverse groups. Getting there, however, requires a deeper dive into the conflicting benefits of cooperation, as well as recognizing the conflicting demands of multiple identities.

There is little doubt that a genetic propensity to cooperate ensured those so endowed to survive as the fittest. As Brooks notes, “We thrived because we are better at cooperation.” Clearly, hunting a woolly mammoth as a group activity, and sharing the results with all those sitting around the fire, were far more conducive to success and survival than an individual effort followed by selfishly hoarding the carcass. 

Two aspects emerged from these primal experiences—the recognition of the superior effectiveness of group undertaking and sharing, and the ethical mandate of contributing to, and even sacrificing for the greater good.

But cooperation within the group also enabled effective competition against other groups, much of it violent. From extended family groups to clans to tribes to nations and nation states and empires, internal cohesion has enhanced the ability of one group of humanity to plunder, dominate, or decimate others. 

Whose Greater Good?

Much of this carnage has been driven by the moral imperative of furthering the greater good, which brings us to the question, whose greater good? The answer lies in an individual’s primary identification with a specific group. The options not only include familial and political groupings but race, gender, class, religion, and ideology, among others. And sadly, the moral frameworks that shape acceptable behavior within the group do not seem to apply when dealing with those on the outside. 

Complicating this is the fact that most people identify with multiple groups with potentially conflicting loyalties that may force people to choose, at critical moments, which one is primary. The ancient Greek city states fought each other mercilessly, but also enjoyed a common identity. They shared a religion, an oracle, the Olympics, and a vision of humanity divided between Greeks and barbarians. When faced with a common threat, they united to defeat the Persians.

Similar choices have played out over the centuries. Sometimes people have opted for a broader sense of identification, for better or worse, when joining Crusades and jihads, founding the United Nations and EU, adopting the Geneva Conventions, and launching the Marshall Plan. 

At other times, they have pinned their primary loyalty to a narrower framework, such as the Confederate generals who placed allegiance to their states above that to the Union; members of organized crime syndicates devoted to their own “families;” the far right in Europe and America who strive to keep their societies as white as possible; and the Bharatiya Janata Party that wants to convert India into a Hindu state.

Part Two: Stretching the Envelope

Seeking the Greatest Good

So how do we stretch the cooperation imperative to engage productively with other groups? And how do we blunt the tendency to increase internal cohesiveness at the expense of everyone else? 

These are two sides of the same coin, and offer the same answer. We need, as individuals and as a society, to strive to place our loyalty with the highest common denominator, seeking the greatest good for the greatest number. Ultimately, this should be our shared humanity. But in many cases, it may just be our common citizenship, shared history, political party, or sense of community. 

How do we do that? There are two critical components to achieving this goal. The first requires consciously modifying our behavior as individuals and as organizations. We can change our own behavior, and must also insist that the organizations to which we belong or support modify theirs. 

Specifically, we all need to stop demonizing opponents or members of other groups. You can criticize others’ beliefs and actions, but avoid ad hominems. Strongly condemn white nationalism, but don’t call your opponent’s supporters “deplorables.” Criticize a legislator’s vote, but not challenge his or her patriotism. 

This requires particular restraint on the part of public figures, especially candidates and elected officials, who are tempted to use group identity to galvanize their supporters. We need to hold them accountable, constantly reminding them that we’re all Americans with equal rights to shaping our future.

There are many ways of achieving this, but ultimately it comes down to the vote. As Brooks indicates, we need to resist the siren call of those who would divide people but focus on “electing leaders who are masters at cooperation.”

We should demand the same self-restraint from all kinds of associations to which we belong, religious, civic, and social, as well as the media, who set the tone of public debate. 

In other words, it’s ultimately up to us, the people. 

None of this will be easy, especially given the self-righteousness that dominant groups have always relied on to assert their priority. This moral imperative to strive to serve the greater good of one’s own group (race, class, religion, party, etc.) is the strongest impediment to cross-societal cooperation.

Embracing Multiple Identities

Here the second component of achieving our goal comes into play—acknowledging the multiple layers of identities that people possess. If we expect people to go beyond the parochial, you must first recognize and value the entire pyramid of group identities and loyalties that define them. Listen to an elderly World War II vet, a disappointed Brexit Remainer who described himself as follows: “First of all, I am Welsh, and I’m British, and I’m European, and I’m a human being.” (Watch the video 

https://twitter.com/bydonkeys/status/1223175366421946369; the quote comes at 1:03.)

Austrian Justice Minister Alma Zadic

In fact, embracing multiple identities, especially ethnic ones, is one of the true characteristics of American exceptionalism (or as I prefer to call it, American idiosyncrasy). In a recent New York Times profile, Alma Zadic, Austria’s justice minister born in Bosnia, explains how she overcame her own ambivalence about her ethnicity through her time in New York: “People were Italian and American, or Mexican and American, and it was totally normal. It was such a revelation. For years I had struggled with this question: ‘Am I Bosnian or Austrian?’ In New York, I learned that I can be Austrian and Bosnian and European at the same time.” https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/07/world/europe/austria-greens-alma-zadic.html?ref=oembed

We hold a genuine advantage over most places in the world where primary social distinctions tend to be singular and rigid. In contrast, we recognize multiple simultaneous identities while assuming that when push comes to shove, the “American” label will be primary. 

And now with globalization and a wider knowledge of the world, the idea of a common humanity has taken on a greater reality for many, especially in discussions of global warming and the environment.

The Community as Ground Zero

The place to start for many of us will be at the community level, where the fair resolution of local concerns demands inclusiveness, so solutions do not come at the expense of one or another group, generally the least affluent. This does not mean that every decision must take into account how it might impact humanity as a whole. (“What’s the impact on the fate of our species if we add this traffic light on Main Street?”) 

But it does suggest that recognizing the humanity of all of those who would be affected by these local decisions is a prerequisite for a fair solution. In America, and in many other places on this planet, the diversity of the population impacted by decisions at all different levels is far greater than we have historically been willing to accept. Accepting our shared humanity weakens the grip of more parochial loyalties, and strengthens our commitment to a truly democratic society. And that’s a start. 

It’s Not Up to the Voters

Many ludicrous excuses for the Senate’s taking no action were offered during the non-impeachment trial of Donald Trump. One that superficially sounds sensible is the argument that “the voters should decide.” But this is categorically wrong. The responsibility lies squarely with the Senate, and they have, for the second time, passed the buck onto us.

The first time, of course, was when the Senate refused to even consider the Garland nomination. “Let the people decide,” they said. But the people had decided—they elected Barack Obama, twice. It was his prerogative—and his responsibility—to nominate a candidate for Supreme Court Justice, and the Senate’s responsibility to advise and consent. They did neither.

The latest abdication is even more pernicious, and requires an even greater sleight of hand. It pretends to follow the long tradition that if the voters find an official objectionable, they should “throw the rascal out.” This advice can cover a wide range of concerns from policy disagreements, incompetence, lack of attention to duty, making unworthy appointments, personal scandals, and even petty corruption. 

But the accusations against Trump are far more serious, and have led the House to issue articles of impeachment, analogous to an indictment. This demands a trial. In any other situation, a trial would follow rigorous procedures, require a jury compelled to consider all the evidence, and a neutral judge to make sure the rules are followed and to instruct the jury on the law.

Now imagine if I were arrested for a serious crime and demanded that my guilt or innocence be determined not by a court of law but by a vote among the general public, none of whom would be required to study the facts or the law. They could read about the case in whatever media they chose, or none at all. In other words, I could opt for a popularity contest.

This is the nub of the question. The Senate is charged with determining whether Trump had committed an impeachable offense. We all know that this is a two-part question—what had he done, and did it rise to that level? They scrupulously avoided delving deeply into his activity. And they deftly side-stepped an adult discussion about whether seeking foreign assistance in an election and rejecting all Congressional subpoenas should be considered high crimes. 

But an election is not a trial established to decide guilt or innocence. It’s a choice between two or more candidates for office. There can be many reasons to oppose Trump, not just that you believe he committed an impeachable offence. And there can be many reasons to vote for him rather than an opponent regardless of whether you feel he is guilty or not.

We live in a representative republic in which we delegate most governmental decision-making to those we elect or are selected by those we elect. While we do entertain occasional ballot initiatives, referenda, and recalls of officials, these are rare exceptions, hardly a drop in the ocean of legislation. 

Pretending an election can double as some sort of trial is absurd. For our elected representatives to delegate their responsibilities to the population at large is not only irresponsible, it runs counter to our very foundation as a representative republic. Perhaps they just don’t want to keep it, Mr. Franklin.

Trump’s Nightmare Song

A Victorian Farce for Our Times

Iolanthe has suddenly popped back into the news because Chief Justice Rehnquist, who presidied over the last presidential impeachment trial, added some stripes from the lead character’s costume to his own robes. He also quoted one of the operetta’s best lines to explain his role: “I did nothing in particular, and did it very well.” Is Roberts following his lead?

But the 1882 show actually contains a great deal of relevance for us today, from the elite’s arrogant chorus:

“Bow, bow ye lower middle classes,
 Bow, bow, ye tradesmen, bow ye masses.”

To Private Willis’ oh-so-true observation that

 “Every boy and every gal
That's born into the world alive
 Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative.”

And then there is the Lord Chancellor’s creative solution to revising irksome laws by simply adding a negative—Trump’s approach to all unwanted healthcare, environmental, safety, etc., legislation and regulations.

Finally, Iolanthe offers a fantasy which we can readily enjoy today when the entire membership of the upper legislative house are turned into fairies, grow wings and fly away.

But the operetta’s most famous song reflects a much darker side, as the Lord Chancellor relates a night of terror and frightful dreams.

If you’re not familiar with the original, you may wish to listen to Martyn Greene’s exceptional performance before reading the parody. Click here:

https://archive.org/details/MartynGreensGilbertAndSullivan-NEWTRANSFER/16.+The+Nightmare+Song.mp3. The main section (parodied here) begins at 0:44

Trump’s Nightmare Song, Sung to the Lord Chancellor’s Nightmare Song in Gilbert & Sullivan’s Iolanthe

When you’re lying all day and you can’t get away 
from the facts the fact-checkers put out there,
You feel totally free to hurl verbal debris at those
enemies whom you just can’t bear.
Not correct political--so hypocritical--
why bother with courtesy common
When you can score points, put a nose out of joints,
and your crowd just answers with “Amen!”?
The media’s disloyal, brings your blood to a boil, 
with all the fake news they’re reporting,
Makes you hot and real cross as you try to toss out
alternative facts for distorting.
The courts are no better, they are so unfettered,
letting cases against you to fester
For breaking state laws, and some phony old clause,
and allowing old girlfriends to pester.
Well, you get some relief with messages brief, 
while night creatures out there are creeping,
And soon you’ll be tweeting those messages fleeting
while everyone else will be sleeping,
For you tweet you are running the country,
and gunning for anyone not fully loyal,
These losers you feel must be brought to heel,
and taught to consider you royal.
And you’re giving a treat (with lots of red meat)
to thousands of real world escapists,
A despicable hoard who all came on board
when you said Mexicanos were rapists.
And bound in this effort was Christie, a sissy 
who started that morning from Jersey.
He’s a bit oversized and you’re hardly surprised
he’s caught up in the bridge controversy.
He’s tossed overboard, and you thank the Lord,
you now have a pal on this journey
A son of old Dixie, a good old ass licksie,
whom you make your gen’ral attorney. 
He recuses himself, so he’s put on a shelf, 
and replaced with Roy Cohn resurrected,
A man of the bar, he’s better by far,
for ethics he’s firmly rejected.
And with this new crew, your sky has turned blue, 
you can focus on money you’re making, 
You’re telling your heirs all the particulairs
of emoluments ripe for the taking.
It’s a scheme of devices to get at low prices
great deals on hotels and high towers.
Which tickled your spawn, giving them as they fawn
a lesson in abuse of powers. 
In hotels next door, the foreigners snore, 
then gather in your office oval,
In exchange for the rights to numerous sites
for which you need building approval. 
The deals are so many, they don’t cost a penny,
you’re trading decisions for favors.
But as you reach closure, you’ve sudden exposure,
in a call with Russia’s near neighbor.
And now in from the cold, the Democrats bold, 
impeach your good name, so it’s never the same,
in a process unfair, you don’t stand a prayer,
just for a quid pro quo that most would just say, “So?”,
hearing deep-blue-state traitors, just swamp alligators,
in sworn testimony that’s really so phony,
you must now rely that Mitch will defy
the role he’s sworn to endeavor.
But the darkness has passed and you no longer fast, 
The tweeting now ends, time for Fox and his Friends,
And thank goodness they’ll praise you for-ever.

Sing Along with Mitch!

The Evolving Laments of the Republican Establishment

In the beginning, there was the campaign. The GOP establishment didn’t know what to make of Trump, how to stall him, control him, or ultimately channel his success to their benefit. He just kept ploughing forward, pushing aside all the tried-and-true candidates whose credentials were impeccable.

Their initial lament might have sounded a bit like “How do you Solve a Problem Like Maria?” from The Sound of Music. (Feel free to sing it out loud; you already know the tune.)

How do you solve a problem like The Donald?

He meets a girl and grabs her knee, Her dress has got a tear.
He rides the elevator down, Emerging from his lair. 
He calls immigrant men rapists as he preens beneath his hair.
We never hear him belting out our tune.

He lashes out at everyone, What he says is never real.
He trashes conserv’tive doctrine (Except our right to steal). 
I hate to have to say it, But I very firmly feel
Trump is not an asset, but a buffoon.
(But I think there’s something we must face:
Trump controls his base.)
How do you solve a problem like the Donald? 
How do you catch a lie and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means the Donald?
A birther. An egotist! A clown!
Many a thing we know we’d like to tell him,
Many a thing he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay on message for a day?
He just wants to build his pers’nal brand.
Oh, how do you solve a problem like the Donald?
We don’t have that kind of magic wand.

As Trump assumes the Presidency, the hope that he will transform himself into something “presidential” proves elusive. He just doesn’t follow the advice of all the wise leaders, generals, and other adults who seek his educate him, guide his behavior, and shape his policy. 

The establishment’s new lament might have sounded even more exasperated, as sung to the tune of “What’s the Matter with Kids Today” from Bye Bye Birdie:

What’s the Matter with Trump Today?

Trump! I don’t know what’s wrong with Trump today!
Trump! You better get right out of his way.
Trump! He’s a crude racist misogynistic boor  When he speaks he takes us down the sewer.
(While we’re on the subject:)
Trump! You can talk and talk till your face is blue!
Trump! But he still just does what he wants to do!
Why can’t he be like we are, Perfect in every way?
What’s the matter with Trump today?

Three years on, the GOP Establishment no longer despairs of his follies, but rather has faithfully descended to his primal level, gleefully throwing the mud in which they lie at all and sundry who challenge his reign. As they revel in their debasement, they might be heard singing the chorus from Flanders & Swann’s “Hippopotamus Love Song.”

The New GOP Chorus: Mud, Mud,Glorious Mud

Mud, mud, glorious mud, 
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So follow me follow,
Down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow,
In glorious mud!

(If you want to hear the original, including a verse sung in Russian (how appropriate), and even join in the chorus, follow this link (the music starts at 1:12. The first chorus at 1:41; the final sing-along chorus at 3:16.): https://youtu.be/G5M4tw_82PM)

What’s next? Trump’s own nightmare song, unabashedly lifted from Gilbert & Sullivan’s Iolanthe, coming soon.

No Such Thing as a Loyal Opposition in Trump World

Disdain for Congress Not Only Reason for Withholding Information

There is wide-spread agreement that President Trump doesn’t consider Congress a co-equal partner. Nor does he believe it has any right to restrict his activities, let alone investigate him. This was abundantly clear in his handling of the killing of Soleimani. He failed to notify the Gang of Eight as required by law, and the explanations subsequently provided by his team were totally inadequate and misleading. This fits a pattern from his earliest days and continues through the Impeachment process.

But there is a second aspect that deserves attention as well. Trump also slights Congress because he rejects the very notion of a “loyal opposition.” This term is generally applied to non-governing parties in a parliamentary system that freely oppose the government’s policies and are actually seeking to replace the party in power, but remain loyal to the greater institutional  framework. 

This concept rests on a set of mutual obligations. The opposition agrees not to challenge the government’s basic authority but express their opposition through legal means (not rebellion). In return, the government allows their dissent and does not equate opposition to treason.

This concept is a basic pillar of all democratic societies. As Levitsky and Ziblatt point out in their prophetic 2018 book How Democracies Die, the denial of the legitimacy of political opponents is a key indicator of authoritarian behavior. 

Only Personal Loyalty Counts

Yet Trump not only rejects this concept, he considers it anathema. There is no such thing as a loyal opponent; opponents are enemies to be crushed, or at least kept at bay. To Trump, the only loyalty that counts is personal loyalty to him, not to some abstract notion such as the Constitution, the law, professional ethics, or the truth. He made that clear to Comey and countless others who have left or been forced out of their positions. 

Given this perspective, sharing classified information with Schiff, Pelosi, Schumer, et al., makes no sense. They not only don’t deserve it as members of Congress, as enemies they can’t be trusted. One excuse made for not briefing the Gang of Eight was the expectation that Democrats would leak classified information.

This basic distrust is also reflected in his frequent accusation that his opponents are guilty of “treason.” Putting aside they are not guilty of the crimes he ascribes to them, even if they were, these crimes don’t rise to the level of treason. But to Trump, opposing him is treasonous.

The greater danger is that his rejection of the concept of “loyal opposition” has infected much of his party, the right-wing media, and many of his supporters. Whether this pillar of democracy can survive the Senate trial, the campaign, and the election, regardless of who wins, will be critical to our future.

How to Tell Brexit from Breakfast

Here are some useful guidelines to help resolve the semantic confusion between Breakfast and Brexit.

Breakfast happens once a day.   Brexit lasts all day long, but never happens.

You eat breakfast.    Brexit devours you.

At breakfast, you butter your bread.   With Brexit, you sputter instead.

Breakfast may feature ham with egg on a plate.   Brexit features a ham with egg on his face.

You can order a Continental Breakfast.   There is no such thing as a Continental Brexit.                      

At breakfast, there is no shortage of jam.   With Brexit, jams cause shortages.                                        

A cooked breakfast may include Irish oatmeal.   A crooked Brexit may exclude the Irish outright. 

In some foreign places, breakfast means grits. Forget foreign races; Brexit is for Brits.

Skipping breakfast is no big deal; you can make it up at lunch.   You can never make up for a no-deal Brexit. 

Breakfast lies between sunrise and noon.  Brexit lies to sundry and Queen.

At select hotels, you get a breakfast buffet with all you can eat.  In an election from hell, you get a Brexit buffoon with all at his feet.