The Thesis
If our leaders seem to act all too often like cartoon characters, we should not be surprised. Perceptions of how to handle conflict are usually shaped during childhood, and for boys, especially, the models doing the shaping tend to be heroic action figures found in comics, TV shows, movies, and video games.
While some of these heroes possess superhuman powers (Superman, etc.), many are just particularly gifted men (not unlike Homer’s heroes), who happen to be especially strong, tough, the best archer (Robin Hood), the best swordsman (Zorro), the fasted draw or the sharpest shooter (Roy Rogers et al.), or have some gimmick that always brings them out on top, like Popeye’s spinach or Bat Masterson’s cane.
The lesson gleaned from all these tales is not that might makes right, but the opposite: right always has superior might, along with the corollary, the contest is ultimately based on force. So, no wonder our would-be adult leaders have stubbornly clung to the notion that since conflicts get resolved through force, and we have the world’s mightiest arsenal, we should always prevail. And by inverse logic, this means we must be right!
Needless to say, we have not always prevailed, and perhaps more to the point, there are often far more productive ways of resolving conflict.
But if we want to stretch the options considered by future generations of potential leaders, we need to capture their imaginations while they’re still at an impressionable age. And so, I offer a new flock of action figures whose behavior communicates softer, less bellicose, lessons, for our future leaders yet in childhood.
The Antithesis
Character: Cogan the Grammarian
Plot/Device: Teaches ruffians the difference between “who” and “whom,” and when to use the subjunctive
Key Lesson: The power of words
Character: Supermanners!
Plot/Device: Disarms thugs by unexpected acts of courtesy
Key Lesson: A little politeness can defuse many nasty situations
Character: Bathman EnRobed
Plot/Device: Hero drives around town in bathmobile, then leaps out of tub to save the day only covered by a towel
Key Lesson: Cleanliness is next to godliness
Character: Mobil Mouse
Plot/Device: Intrepid rodent writes a best-selling self-help book whenever people move his cheese
Key Lesson: Size doesn’t matter
Character: Nancy the Druid
Plot/Device: Spunky young witch helps teenage girls solve the mysteries of puberty through magic
Key Lesson: When searching, leave no stone unhenged
Character: Helpalong Cassidy
Plot/Device: Gregarious cowboy inhabits traffic island, helping little old ladies cross the street safely
Key Lesson: Always trust the kindness of strangers
Character: Sir Lunchalot
Plot/Device: Knight works day job in soup kitchen, dishing out nutritious meals and courtly advice to damsels in financial distress
Key Lesson: Square meals can often be found on round tables